Dreams and reality

I had a dream last night that I have been thinking alot about today. While on a drive I discovered a few more things about it that I can relate to in real life.... For those of you who know me well, I am someone that tries to remember my dreams so I can look them up. I have found that in all of my dreams there is something that my subconscious mind is telling me. I sort of use it as a guide. And just about every time.. My dreams are dead on and relate to something in my present life. There is one dream that I have not shared with many people. Maybe just 2 or 3. But this dream in particular is one of the main things that led me stop drinking. Even though I was not an alcoholic, I had a dream one night that really disturbed me.... I had a dream that I was upset about something. I don't remember what it was, but I was hysterical. And in my dream the first thing I thought of was " I need a drink " . I continued to search frantically for something... anything I could find. And when I found it, I looked at the bottle that I pulled from the freezer and thought to myself "What are you doing? Why are you doing this?!" When I woke up, I knew that I needed to change. It made me realize that I used alcohol as a void to forget the ghost in my past.... Now I know that I didn't need to tell that little story... But really it somewhat has to do with my life and where I am at this point. Because giving up alcohol was the first major step to my self discovery.

I am not perfect... I do sin. I am strong enough to admit it. But I know what I want out of my life and I KNOW that I have made changes in it for the better. And it really does sadden me to see how much easier it would have been to just listen to my parents... Yes I said it.... but then again, I honestly don't know if I would feel the same and want the same things with as much heart and desire as I do now. I think that I needed to find out for myself through making mistakes just how important and wonderful it is to have the gospel in my life. Because now that I can feel Him again, I know that I am not alone. I can count on Him to help me through anything.... all I have to do is ask.............

In my dream last night I was faced in a situation that just didn't feel right. I was with old friends and we came upon a group of LDS kids around my age and immediately my old friends started making remarks... Extremely rude remarks that made me uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do... Or what to say.... The group of LDS kids just stopped and looked at us and after a minute looked down. I immediately began to pray, asking God to please comfort me and forgive me and my friends. To forgive me for not having the strength to put a stop to it. And forgive my friends for not understanding. And when I opened my eyes I walked past them and realized that they were praying... What were they praying for? I have no idea still. But as I walked by them in my dream, there was a sense of comfort. And I felt at ease.

This was not the first dream I have had where I turned to prayer or God for help. Lately I have them quite often. But its comforting to me that even in my dream, he answers my prayers. He really is there. And it makes me feel bad to realize how long it took me to see that. But its better late than never.

I read a scripture recently that I have taken to heart. Its in Matthew 5:16 and reads " Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. " Since the day I read that I have been trying to be a better person. I have been trying to remember what I stand for, and the person I want to be. I have come a long way... But there is room for improvement. I slip up from time to time, but I know that all I have to do is ask and He will be there. Not because he has to be... But because he loves me and wants to see me succeed. And I finally understand what those that love me most were always talking about.... I just wish I knew of a way to give my knowledge to the people I care about that I see searching for the answers..... The people that are lost like I was. I wish there was something would make them see how easy it is to ask for help from the one that can ultimately help them the most. Maybe if they open their eyes and see that if I can change, they can to. Maybe if I continue to do little things to better my life and worry about myself and try to be a good example... they will get the courage to look within themselves and better their lives.

I am not saying that finding the gospel is the ultimate step for everyone....But I do know that by making changes to better myself as an individual I have found myself. I have found the person that I have always been searching for. But for me, it truly started with prayer.

Its My Weekend!

Its been a minute or two since the last posting I did..... So I decided maybe it was time to do another one since there are so many readers that I would disappoint if I didn't have a blog.... That was a joke.... Anyways, not much has been going on. Work has been nuts! They are shutting down the nursery down that I work for so they bosses thought it would be a good idea to send out a broadcast and let people know that they can only buy seedlings for so long... Well now they have broad casted it on ksl, Good Things Utah, and USA Today.... Yeah don't know how they (USA Today) found out.. But anyways... work has just been so busy and irritating! People call asking the dumbest questions! Things that should have been in the broadcast but they either didn't listen or see... or the uptown folks failed to mention. So needless to say the last week has been awful!!!!

On a lighter note, I saw my soon to be here nephew again a few days ago! He is getting so big in my sis's belly! :) She looks great and I can't wait til he is here so I can meet him and be his best friend.. Sorry Dustin and dad he is going to be my lil' bud :) !

I get to see Justin today! I can't wait! It has only been 4 days since I have seen him but it is seriously the longest 4 days every time! He is such a great boyfriend and he makes me really happy! I wish we lived closer to one another. But then again it gives us time to miss each other. I really wanted to go hiking tomorrow but I guess we will see what the weather entails. Whatever we end up doing, I am sure we will have a great time! We always do! Maybe he will let me take some pictures of us ? He hates when I do, but the longer we are together the more comfortable he gets with it.... He better get used to it because I love to take pictures!!!!

I can't wait to get out of the office so I can hopefully enjoy some of this nice weather!

Hope the day is great for everyone like it is for me!

Draper Temple Viewing

Last night I have the opportunity to walk through the Draper Temple with my family. I was anxious to go because it has been an extremely long time since I have been in a temple. But I can not even begin to express how glad I am that I went. I asked Justin to go with me and although he was hesitant, he still went with me. It really meant a lot to have him there. Over the past year I have gone through many changes, trying to figure out my place in life and what I want in the long run. And when I first met him, I was far from what I had pictured in my head. I have always been curious as to whether or not I would go back to church. Because like many, I let someone else ruin the experience for me and became bitter about it. But over the past few months, I have been making small changes in my life to become what I think, is a better person. And even though I make my own decisions in life, I know that I owe a lot of " my push in the right direction " to Justin. I don't know if I would be where I am now without having him come into my life.

My experience at the temple truly was something that can not be put into words.The beauty in the rooms was breath taking. And the feeling that I was filled with, made the experience so much more meaningful. It opened my eyes to a whole other side of myself and the church. I know now what I have to look forward to when I am sealed to my family for eternity. I can't wait to experience that. They say that the Celestial room in the temple represents Heaven and how beautiful it will be. But I know that by the beauty of that room and just what I imagine Heaven will be like, does not even compare to what my Heavenly Father has in store for me. And I can not wait to be surrounded by such a beautiful paradise with the one's that I love most.

I am so happy that I got the chance to walk through the temple surrounded by my family. I feel so blessed to have the spirit in my life. I can not even imagine what my life would be like if I would not have let the gospel back into my life. And I know that I am not perfect. I know that going back to church fully is going to take time for me. But even just having the gospel in my life as much as I do now fills me with a joy that I have never known before. And that is something that I am thankful for everyday.

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY BRIT!

I was thinking about it and decided to write a birthday message to my cousin Bitty! After all it is her 21st birthday and she is "my favoritest cousie" ;) (inside joke) But I decided to somewhat copy my sister and kind of do something like she did for my dad.... Yeah I missed his birthday and my grandma's. But I didnt think about it until I saw hers! So thanks for the idea sis. Any ways here we go

21 most memorable times with Brittany

1. Stealing gas with you and your dad and having you laugh at me when I got scared because I thought he really was stealing gas.
2. Selling candy and drinks outside your house and pocketing the cash even though your mom spent more money buying all the stuff for us to sell :)
3. going on my first roller coaster ride ever with you!
4. Going on our cruises together.
5. The airport accident... you know what I am talking about! LOL
6. Singing to our moms on Mother's Day.
7. Going to Dusk til Dawn with you.
8. Watching cartoons from 8-12 waiting for you to wake up.
9. Drinking V-8 with you... I now hate it because of you thank you very much.
10. cleaning our houses early in the morning so our mom's would be happy when they woke up.
11. Playing my sisters Nintendo when she wasn't home and then putting everything back in place perfectly.
12. Getting the comb stuck in my bangs and having to cut it out... RIGHT BEFORE WE WENT TO THE FUN DOME.
13. Squirting water in your ears so you would give me back my Cabbage Patch Doll. :) Don't say I didn't tell you!
14. Camping in Tabiona.
15. Going to Summer Jams with you.
16. Cleaning your apartment in the bullet proof vest neighborhood.
17. Going over to Justin's house with you when we were catering for the wedding. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have him in my life today.
18. Lacey's party
19. Just hanging out with you and your mom in Grantsville.
20. Swimming in the pool at the Ho-Jo
21. Talking with just the 2 of us.

Thanks for all the great memories B-Butt! I could go on for days about all the fun times we have had! I still can't wait til we both have kid's around the same time so they can grow up together too! Some of my greatest memories were because of you! Its been so much fun growing up with you and being so close in age! You have been a huge impact on my life! I love and admire you in so many ways! I hope you have a great birthday! Love you!

DAD IS GREAT! HE MAKES US CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!!

Hello! Its been a minute or two since the last post so I thought it was time to fill everyone in a little......Last weekend was great for me! I got to see Justin as usual. And Chloe even got to come and hang out with us while my parents went to Wendover for my dad's birthday. I do have to say I was less than enthused when she crapped on my back seat! Yeah! I can't even believe she did that! My parents said it was because I didn't let her go poop before I took her in the car to meet them at the grocery store..... I'm sorry but she has never pooped in a vehicle before so why would I think she would start then? I think she did it because she was mad at my mom for leaving her. But either way, she pooped on my seat and it was disgusting! Thankfully it was not the smear all over and never comes out of your seat type of poop! And it is a good thing my uncle Ron was not in the car... otherwise I would have had to clean up puke off my dashboard!

Justin and I had a great Valentines Day! I was bummed at first because I thought the weather was going to be bad. But it turned out to be a beautiful day! And he surprised me with some really gorgeous Lillies :) So that made my day start out perfect! We decided to go to Gateway mall and walk around. He wanted a new hat and the weather was so nice so it worked out. He got me the cutest purse that he proudly picked out on his own...I am actually surprised at how good of taste he has. I have never dated a guy that had a great sense of style like he does. I tell him all the time I am so lucky to have a guy like him. I could easily send him to the mall to pick me out an outfit because I know I would love it! So good job babe! Keep up the good work ;)

Sunday Justin and I came in for dinner with my family! I was so excited! Its weird how being gone a lot does that to you. When I was younger I could be gone for weeks. But now I love every minute we are together. And its even better when Justin is able to come to! My family is so much fun and I am so glad that I am closer to them than I have been in the past. I was missing out! . I could smell the cake baking and I asked why my dad made his own birthday cake. My mom told me to take one guess and all I could to was sing "Dad is great... he makes us chocolate cake" :) for those of you who don't know what I am talking about you need to rent " Bill Cosby Himself ". But anywho I was right. And all my dad could do was smile. He is always doing stuff like that! That is just one of the many reasons I have the best dad in the world! He is always finding ways to make us laugh! Even if he didn't make his own cake just so we would sing the song.....he did make one heck of a cake!

Well, until next time... have a great day!

The weekend of Wisdom!

Well this past weekend was an interesting one. My weekend starts on Thursday since I work the glorious work schedule of the 4-10's for the state. So usually I spend time with Justin on the days I have off. Justin stayed at my house Thursday night because I had to take him to the doctor to get his wisdom teeth removed the next day. He was just soooo nervous! He worries about that kind of stuff... But lets face it... we all do. But he worries extra about everything that goes with it! He had all these plans of things he was going to do there... like try and be the patient that went the longest without passing out. His goal was 2 minutes but he didn't last longest than 20 seconds :).
Anyways, the surgery went really good. He only had 3 teeth come in and one they had to cut into a million pieces to get out because it was growing in weird. But the Dr. said he was one of the best patients they had ever had. I couldn't help but laugh though because he was being so funny when he was coming out of it! :) He just kept saying the funniest stuff and you could tell he was in his own little world! On the way out to his house he wanted me to give him a kiss but his mouth was just covered in blood because he had swallowed his gauze pads and was just spitting up blood. And I kept telling him " Babe I love you but that really makes me gag to think about because you have blood all over your mouth." So of course he didn't understand and got all sad and I finally gave in and just said "OK you can kiss my cheek." So he did and he got a little blood on my cheek from his lips. So when I showed him he tried to smudge it off... But it wasn't coming off. LOL .... SO then he kissed my finger and realized that he still had blood all over his mouth because when he looked at my fingers he noticed all the smudges on them from his lips and his eyes just got big and he tried to hide my hand.... Like I wasn't going to notice that one babe hahaha. Oh well I forgive him
I feel bad though because I know his mouth is hurting him! his cheeks were so big! He couldn't even shut his mouth all the way and when he talked he had a lisp. And I just smile every time I think about it because he reminded me so much of the little boy Ralphie from the movie the Christmas Story. LOL He just had these big puppy dog blue eyes and this puffy cheeks! So Cute! Too bad he wouldn't let me snap a picture of him!

Anyways just thought I would share that! I hope this week is a great one!

First blog

Well, today is officially the first time I am writing a blog. Not really sure of what is going to come of it but hopefully it will be somewhat entertaining to others! :) This week so far has been a good one! I got home from work on Monday after being in Grantsville all weekend and saw the parents! Its always nice to see them! Being gone alot always makes me realize how blessed I am to have such great parents! I also got the chance to hang out with my best friends Chelsea and Chy. Chelsea is the one friends that I have known the longest and the one that by far knows me better than anyone! Its always nice when we hang out because its just like old times! I guess after 12 years it shouldn't really be akward anymore... even if sometimes it is a while til we talk next. After all she is the friend that is pretty much "claimed under my parents taxes" because she just makes herself at home! But hey it goes both ways. Our families are each others families.
Yesterdayy I got to see my sister for a minute! :) Her belly is soooo cute and I can't wait for my nephew to get here! Everytime I see her I just wanna shake her belly so he will kick for me. But then he would probably get mad at me! And I want him to love me! Its weird because for a while it didn't really seem real to me that she was going to have a baby... But everytime I see her I just smile and get these huge butterflies because I can't wait! He is going to be the biggest stud and love me so much! :) We are going to be best buds... sorry Dusty!
Well now I am off to try and customize my blog... maybe I can figure out a way to make it all fancy like everyone else on here!





















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