Ok so I don't even remember the last time I wrote on here... So I guess it is now time to.... My life the past couple of weeks has been one hell of a roller coaster ride! LOL... With my best friend moving out of state... My job, and juggling my personal life I actually had a mental break down. It was crazy... I have not experienced that in a while! But I am back on my feet and moving forward in my life!
With Chelsea being gone it has been good for me to really stand on my own 2 feet. I have been having to deal with my problems head on instead of letting them untangle themselves. She was always there for me to have that "escape"... But right now with my life being this way.... I am learning things about myself that I didn't know were there.
2009 for me has definitely been the toughest year of my life. I always thouhgt that I could never feel the way I did when I broke up with my high school boyfriend... But this year has definitely shown me a whole new light on sadness and heart ache.... Facing those that have hurt me most and taking back control of my life has been something that I struggle with on a daily basis.
See, I have always been the person that puts other's feeling and needs first. Letting them become more important than my own. But I have learned over this past year that I can not be happy or enrich the live's of other's until I find myself. So I have had to start being selfish... I have had to start to ask myself questions in a different perspective.... I have always been able to see things from all different perspectives. And I think that is part of my problem. It is hard for me to seperate what I KNOW is real from what is not good for me... Because I get so caught up in how the other person sees things. And why they think the way they do. And that is how I get so mixed up and end up back at square one on this trip to self discovery! But I have had allot of great talks with some really admirable people and hopefully now I will be able to grasp the tools I need to stay strong and weed out the negative people in my life!
With all the muck that I have been splashed with in my life this past year... I have also been blessed with so much! Cheslea and I have become closer than we were when she lived here! I have gotten closer to a few friends and I couldn't be happier with that situation! I have been spending more time with my family which I have thoroughly enjoyed! And I get to spend Friday's with my nephew. And that is something that I look forward to more than anything! I really do love him so much that at times it overwhelms me... How can someone so young and innocent have so much impact on my life?! That is something that I don't know the answer to. But it is also something that I am so happy for. I have had so much fun watching him progress the past couple months! :) He amazes me every time I see him!
For me... this is my life.. I have made it what it is. And I am learning from every problem that I am faced with! I may not smile at all of the decisions that I make. Or welcome the consequences with open arms. But I will continue to find the happiness through all of the hard times. And fight the hard times head on.
Until next time.. I hope you all have a wonderful day! :)
" I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings.”
* The Life of Just Another Average Girl *
There is beauty in all things, sometimes you just have to open your mind to see it.
Happiness comes from within, and once you find it everything else will fall into place.
The life of a niece and nephews is what lights my life
About Me
- NICOLE
- My name is Nicole but to most people who know me its Nick or Nicki. I am just a girl who loves life and tries to make the best out of it one day at a time. I am a simple girl and I love to smile! I love meeting new people and am somewhat of a social butterfly! I love traveling to beautiful places, Spending time with friends and family, crafting and creating unique things! I like to spend allot of time with my head in the clouds... I guess you can say I am a dreamer!
Me and my twin soul
" Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance but never in heart. "
I think you should be a writer sis. You are so good with words! I hope you know that I am always here for you, no matter what. I know we aren't the closest, and I HOPE we can one day be closer. I love you more than you will ever know, and I would love to have you call me your best friend. :) Smile...I love you!
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