My mind has been blown!!!!!!

Alright everyone.... I know I have been in a slump lately and haven't been fun to listen to.. But recently I was blog surfing and came across a relative of a friends blog who is like this awesome crafter and ever since I went there... I have been OBSESSED with crafting and building, and refinishing things! I went to the D.I. (our states version of Goodwill) and bought some "junk"... and am in the process of turning it into treasures! :) I am proud of myself! Except those that know me best may tell you that I am going crazy. I mean literally all I think about all day long is crafts and projects. I almost have one project done... I will post pictures of the final out come!

I am loving this streak! I hope it is the start to something new and long lasting. I feel like I have had a breath of fresh air blown in my face! :) It's been sort of a life changing experience for me. Or at least for this chapter in my life. It's challenging me to see what I am capable of doing! I can't wait to see the finished product of all of the ideas I have etched in my head.


Have a wonderful Wednesday and try to keep warm! xoxo

Oh and if you would like to visit the blog that lead me to many other blogs and blown my mind here is the link!

http://vintagerevivals.blogspot.com/

Lately I haven't felt like writing much. I haven't felt like taking many pictures either.. Which is odd for me since usually I document everything.... I feel disconnected from myself lately. I still have the same deep thoughts and feelings.. I just don't want to share them as much.. Or maybe it's more like I don't know how to... Either way it's a strange feeling.

So instead of going into allot of detail of what I have been up to lately.. I decided to just share some pictures with you.

This photo slideshow made with Smilebox

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I haven't really felt like blogging lately... Either I have been too busy, or just can't find the words for how I feel. So instead, I read what other people write.

Lately I have felt extremely stressed and super emotional. I don't talk about it because it's kind of just one of those things I have to figure out on my own. My dreams have been crazy though... I think that has something to do with it. I hate how much my dreams can effect my mood and the thoughts that go on in my mind.

Today tho, I don't feel stressed. I just feel sad.

Wildflowers, Meteor Showers, Wilflife.. OH YEAH!

A couple of weeks ago Cacey and I went on a camping with his dad, his girlfriend Kathy, and some of their friends. We stayed in a camp ground Called Albion Basin that is located in the Wasatch National Forest. It right above the Alta ski resort and around this time each year the wildflowers there are at the peak of their bloom. So during the day there is a pretty heavy flow of hikers. It's absolutely beautiful up there. Cacey and I had gone to the Wildflower Festival there last year around this time for a "wildflower walk". I loved it and had been dying to go back ever since. So when his parents invited us up I couldn't resist!

Everything about the weekend trip was absolutely perfect from the fresh air to the weather. There was a slight breeze during the day, and no wind in the evening. The air was so thin and fresh that you could immediately breath better the moment you stepped out of the truck. But what else would you expect at 9,500 feet elevation right? :) And the weather... *sigh*... The weather was simply wonderful! It was clear sky's day and night! We were even lucky enough to catch the last day of a meteor shower up there! It was beautiful! The meteors and falling stars we did see were bright white streaks across the pitch black canvas of night! It was nice falling asleep looking at the sky while listening to the faint chirps of the crickets around us.

Each morning we woke up to coyotes, pot guts, and all different kinds of birds. There were pot guts everywhere in our camp! Some people might have been appalled by the "rodents". But to me they seemed like "city" pot guts. They weren't afraid of us and they knew exactly how to open up our tub-a-ware bins full of food! We saw wood peckers, finch's and even a camera shy Blue Jay! I was really excited about the Blue Jay because I hadn't seen one since I was about 8-9 yrs old. His feathers were exquisite shades of the sky on a clear day, and the ocean on a starless night. It didn't matter whether he was in the sun or shade, he always shimmered. It was nice to wake up smiling as I watched the animals around me and listened to baby coyotes imitate the howl of their mother. I wish I could start my day off like that every morning.

After a weekend filled with endless laughs and beautiful scenery it was time to pack up and leave. And tho a part of me wanted to stay, there was another part of me that was already thinking about how wonderful it was going to be next year. I would like to think that it will top this years trip. But it's going to be pretty hard since this trip went above and beyond any expectations I had for it before.

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As of lately my heart constantly feels like it's going to explode. My emotions are on edge... And my eyes don't see things in vivid color and detail. I don't know what it wrong with me. I feel confused. Foggy... Numb. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to fix me.....

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OVER EMOTIONAL.... That is the only way to describe the way that I feel lately. What does it make you when you feel more comfortable helping others sort out their problems rather than tend to your own?

Good question right? I would love some enlightenment.

Lately I feel like I go through extreme highs and lows. I constantly debate with myself about certain things in my life... Big things. Things that I guess I feel in a way I lose something. What do you do when you are faced with a problem like that?

I have been trying to improve on myself as a person. I have been trying to think of the things that make me most happy. And for the most part, I have it all. But I still feel like something is missing. I believe know what it is, but I don't feel ready for it yet. So for now it sits on the back burner in my mind.

Putting that one thing on the back burner breaks my heart and makes my eyes well up with tears... But thinking about what I will possibly be giving up to get it, leaves me anxious, incomplete and sick to my stomach...... How do you decide which feeling is more important to listen to?

And if you go with one decision, how do you know it is the right decision? I guess you never know until you go down that path.... I just wish my cards would reveal if I would ever truly get the best of both worlds.

speak for myself.. Probably not

I haven't written in a while which I am completely aware of. Life has been crazy the past couple of months and my head has been in the clouds. There is so much going on mentally, but I don't know how to get any of it out. What I feel and what my hands type just haven't been connected lately. There have been times I wanted to get on here and write about something and refrained because I didn't want to sound like a "Debbie Downer" ... And other times, I wanted to write but haven't been able to place the way I feel with the correct words. So instead of writing, I read what others have to say. It makes me feel better. And allot of the time, they say something that I can relate to.. I guess in way it's kind of like a "pick-me-up" .. Not always uplifting, But honest... Which is what I believe I need most right now.....

My life is good. I have a great boyfriend, a wonderful family, and amazing friends... But every year I go through this "phase" if that is what we want to call it.... Will there ever come a time where I don't feel this way?

Something is missing in me. Something is incomplete.