Angry Gusts of Wind

I feel strong today. I feel like it's ok to rid myself of you completely. I feel like we were a waste of time even though I know its not true, Feeling that way, and knowing that makes me sad. It's easier to be angry instead of hurt sometimes. So today, I will be angry. Tho through that anger, I still feel happiness. Its bittersweet.

I'm angry with you and for leaving things unsaid about what really happened (even though I know it won't do any good to know now)... I feel happiness, because I feel stronger than I thought possible up to this point in my life.  My friends, the family that is beside me, and the options that I have to do as I please with my life is what makes me smile everyday.

.......I don't thank you for that. You letting me go, wasn't what was best for me. You don't get to make that choice, I do. Telling others you are sorry for how I felt, and that I deserve better  was not what I expected from you. That is just a cowardly way of saying you had stopped caring....  I'm angry because instead of telling me how YOU felt, you blamed our failures on the timing. There is never a right time to discuss a topic in which you know the other person will feel pain. But I feel like I deserved the honesty of how you felt from the moment your heart fell out of love with me.

Either way, you are gone. You have moved on. You were the one that said "We need time to find ourselves." .... I cannot speak for you in saying whether or not you have found yourself. I can however, speak for myself when I say I feel you were looking for an escape. You found it.

As for me, I have moved forward. There are days that I still think about you, but I no longer let you get the best of me. I smile often, and think of you sometimes. When I do, those thoughts pass as quickly as a gust of wind. I feel good about that. They say to send thoughts of light and love to those that anchor your heart down... For you, I send nothing because I feel nothing. I don't think you would be offended by that. 

I have released the burden that my love for you had placed on my heart. I don't feel relief because of it, or feel that is was an accomplishment. I feel the same, only stronger. The difference is that I smile more lately. I laugh to the point that my stomach hurts. I no longer hate the opposite sex and I feel gitty when I talk to someone that I am attracted to. I love myself as I am. I feel beautiful as I am. I feel this way because of me... No one can take credit for that.