??????

Today I have been thinking allot about the obstacles that I have had to deal with over the past couple of months. And I have to say... It's really starting to tire me. It's tough trying to figure out if what you are doing with your life is the right path for you... Or if what you want and what you think is rightfor you at this time could be the same thing? If that makes any sense????

Lately I feel like I am at a war with myself. trying to decide if my own personal beliefs and desires are because of the influences of others... Or because of what I truly feel and believe. I am such a neutral person as it is... That it's hard to decide whether or not I do things or feel a certain because of my choice or others.

Over the past couple of months I have had some really amazing people come into my life. all who have great advice. And they all make me think about things in a different way.... They help me see myself differently. It's been nice looking at myself through another perspective. I have really been noticing different things about my self lately. But it also causes me to feel like I am being pulled in about 10 different directions. And trying to figure out what one is best for me is something that I wish just had figured out.

I have always felt like I was different than everyone else. I think differently than most. And the majority of the time I like that. But then again, its frustrating feeling like you have no one who is going through or understands what you are going through. Because even though people say they do... I don't think they have a clue.

So I guess my question would be.... How do you decide what makes you happy... And how do you get other's to see that that is true happiness. How do you get other's to see past their own judgement and realize that you are who you are and accept you as you are? The answer??? You don't... Because no matter what they will have their own opinions and judge you if they feel like it. But how do you not let the feelings of others influence the decision that you make?????