Take me as I am!!!!

Over the past week I have learned a very important lesson.... "Never make someoene a priority in your life that does not make you one in their's." And as sad and as hard as it is to put that into action, I am going to have to do just that. Recently I got into an argument with a friend and at first I couldn't help but feel like I was doing something wrong. I mean, I obviously hurt this person.. And that made me feel like a bad friend. But how can I correct a problem that someone has with me if I never knew it existed in the first place?! Seriously... I am a little pissed about it to be honest. I don't think I am a bad friend. And if I knew that I was hurting someone... I sure wouldn't continue to do just that! I don't know... I have thought about it over and over til I was sick to the stomach. But the fact of the matter is that I can't change the past. All I can do is say I am sorry and whether they choose to accept it is up to them.

While talking to someone close to me I was told that I can be nobody but myself. And that is when it hit me... This whole transitional period that I have been going through has been about self acceptance. And that is what I should worry about. Because if someone can not accept me for who I am and be honest with me and tell me if they have a problem with me... Then I shouldn't worry about it. Right?????

I have always worried about upsetting others. But I think it's time to put my own feelings first and stick to what I feel is right. Take no bullshit! Excuse my language.. But it is the truth.

And if someone cannot take me as I am then I guess they were not meant to be in my life forever! Because those that really care about you will love you no matter what.

"Be who you are, and say how you feel. Because those that matter don't mind. And those that mind don't matter"

I hope you all have a wonderful day! XOXO!!!! Enjoy the last week of summer!!! :)

Girls trip!

Greetings everyone! I just thought I would fill everyone in on my weekend of fun! Last weekend I went on a girls trip with 3 of my friends down to Palisades near Manti and had a blast! I had not been there since I was little so it was fun to go back and remember things that happened when I was little.... Or just little memories about certain areas. We rented a paddle boat one day and paddled our little hearts out around the reservoir! That was really fun! We found this tree on the right side of the lake near the dam and my friends thought it would be a good idea to jump of into the water... yeah it would have been if the water were about 5 feet deeper! Instead they found out the hard way that the water was really shallow lol.... Kendra hit her knee on the bottom and Chels scraped her butt on the ground... Ouch is what I say.. but I am glad it wasn't me! ;)

We also got the opportunity to stay in the new cabins there! And they were really nice! Really comfortable for all 4 of us.. but it could have easily slept 8 with the trundles under the bunk beds and the full mattress as the bottom bunk.

But the best part about the whole thing was driving around the golf course. Kendra and Camron work downstairs in my building for State Parks. They make the reservations for all the state parks in Utah... So we got to take a tour of the park while we were there to kind of give them a little more knowledge of what there is to do at Palisades! So the camp host took us around to all the different camp sites and showed us some trails.... And then... He let us follow him around the entire golf course in our own carts! It was so much fun!!!!

I was so glad I went on that trip! We had so much fun and made so many great memories! I can't wait til the next trip!!!!

And if anyone is wondering... I love Palisades and I will definitely be going back!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

??????

Today I have been thinking allot about the obstacles that I have had to deal with over the past couple of months. And I have to say... It's really starting to tire me. It's tough trying to figure out if what you are doing with your life is the right path for you... Or if what you want and what you think is rightfor you at this time could be the same thing? If that makes any sense????

Lately I feel like I am at a war with myself. trying to decide if my own personal beliefs and desires are because of the influences of others... Or because of what I truly feel and believe. I am such a neutral person as it is... That it's hard to decide whether or not I do things or feel a certain because of my choice or others.

Over the past couple of months I have had some really amazing people come into my life. all who have great advice. And they all make me think about things in a different way.... They help me see myself differently. It's been nice looking at myself through another perspective. I have really been noticing different things about my self lately. But it also causes me to feel like I am being pulled in about 10 different directions. And trying to figure out what one is best for me is something that I wish just had figured out.

I have always felt like I was different than everyone else. I think differently than most. And the majority of the time I like that. But then again, its frustrating feeling like you have no one who is going through or understands what you are going through. Because even though people say they do... I don't think they have a clue.

So I guess my question would be.... How do you decide what makes you happy... And how do you get other's to see that that is true happiness. How do you get other's to see past their own judgement and realize that you are who you are and accept you as you are? The answer??? You don't... Because no matter what they will have their own opinions and judge you if they feel like it. But how do you not let the feelings of others influence the decision that you make?????

Flaming Gorge weekend

Ok... SO I have been slacking hard core on updating my blog... Sorry! But anyways... It's been a crazy couple of weeks! Super super busy!!! A couple weeks back I had the chance to go to Flaming Gorge with some friends and we had a blast! I really do love it there! I think it really is my most favorite place ever! I don't know why but I feel so calm when I walk on the dock there! And the sunrises and sunsets there are like no other! I hope to go again before the boating season ends! So I put together a little slide show of some pictures of why I love it there so much!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I have also got to see Jaxon a couple times! And I can not believe how fast he is growing! He is so big now! But he gets cuter and cuter everytime I see him! I can't wait to see him again! He is starting to smile alot! And he has even smiled for me a couple times! :) I love it!

This coming weekend I am going to Palisades with some girlfriends of mine and I can't wait! Its going to be a blast! We always have fun together and its been a long time since we have been together! SO lets cross our fingers that those cloudy days don't turn into stormy days! :)