Sitting on the porch swing, legs crossed, cane to the side,
watching the great grand babies' minds wander as they play out side.
I park my car and my eyes well with tears,
My mind flutters like a picture show of memories throughout the years.
I remember his red truck,
and the camping trips we took.
Mostly down to Palisades,
Where some of my greatest memories were made.
I feel the heat of the wood burning stove that sits in the corner of the house,
And giggle at the thought of winter time, and grandma trying to cook us out.
I think of all our Sunday dinners gathered around the table,
Grandmas eyes filled with tears, as he expresses to Heavenly Father of all the reasons to be grateful.
I smile when I walk in the garage and see everything neatly in its place,
Even the old family farm equipment is proudly on display.
I'll cherish the time in Manti of placing flowers on the graves,
I promised him I'd never forget to decorate where the nameless boy was laid.
I smile at the thought of his plaid shirts, slacks, and that signature white hat.
That's how I'll always remember him, there is no doubt about that.
His contagious smile and cobalt blue eyes,
Is where the true Dennison in our family lies.
I love him for always loving me no matter what choice I made.
I should have come around more, more effort I should have gave.
As time thins and the calendar pages fly,
I promise to make more of an effort to drop by and say hi.
"Family is the most important thing" is what we've always been told.
I realize that now... Now that he's grown old.
I love and cherish his teachings more than he will ever see,
No one will ever be able to take the place of my Grandpa D.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Power of Prayer
Though life can be crazy and it seems that the stresses never end, its important to remember one thing; Someone is always listening. Today I was reassured just how wonderful the power of prayer can be. It doesn't matter what your faith is, there is always someone high above listening, and if you desire something bad enough which will benefit you, that prayer will be answered. Even if that prayer isn't answered right away, give it time. Sometimes it just isn't the right time. Heavenly Father loves me, I know this and feel this each day I pray. In times my faith in others is broken, I am comforted in knowing that he knows what is right for me, and that is what matters. Our lives are different. Our morals aren't same as any one person. God created us differently, and to have different morals and beliefs.
I know I'm not perfect. I know I mess up. But I also feel that I am a good person with a heart big enough to fit the world in. I love to share my light with others. I live to bring happiness into the lives of others. I choose to be imperfect, because being imperfect as I am, is who I feel comfortable being. It isn't about meeting the criteria of what others expect you to be. Its about doing what you love each day with your best intentions... And sharing your love with those that surround you.
I pray for happiness. I pray for safety. I pray for guidance. I pray for love. Each day, I pray; and each day, I'm filled with joy, because I know that if my intentions are good.... Then there is nothing but light to fill my light with.
I'm blessed to have what I do. My family, my friends, my job, my love and his family... That is what is important in life.
I encourage anyone who doesn't pray, to try it. Its amazing what a difference it makes, even if its foreign to you.
Happy Wednesday. <3
I know I'm not perfect. I know I mess up. But I also feel that I am a good person with a heart big enough to fit the world in. I love to share my light with others. I live to bring happiness into the lives of others. I choose to be imperfect, because being imperfect as I am, is who I feel comfortable being. It isn't about meeting the criteria of what others expect you to be. Its about doing what you love each day with your best intentions... And sharing your love with those that surround you.
I pray for happiness. I pray for safety. I pray for guidance. I pray for love. Each day, I pray; and each day, I'm filled with joy, because I know that if my intentions are good.... Then there is nothing but light to fill my light with.
I'm blessed to have what I do. My family, my friends, my job, my love and his family... That is what is important in life.
I encourage anyone who doesn't pray, to try it. Its amazing what a difference it makes, even if its foreign to you.
Happy Wednesday. <3
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Devastation Causing Appreciation
My emotions have been running high with all of the hype surrounding the bombings that occurred at the Boston Marathon. I feel like with everything going on in the media, Witnessing the shock wave of anxiety that has rippled across the country, I have started to see things in a different light.
It's sad to admit that sometimes it take horrific events to put ourselves in check and realize that maybe things aren't so bad; to appreciate what we have... what God has blessed out lives with.
It seems the older that I get, the more events such as the bombing, affect me. I remember when 9/11 hit, I was at a loss for words. But the older I got, the more I understood... and the more I began to feel. I started paying attention to the headlines in the news. I started to imagine what the family members felt about those who lost their lives that tragic day. I think at the young age of 13, it didn't effect me to an extent beyond remorse and sorrow, because I hadn't started thinking about my future yet. Now that I am older, I am affected by tragedies in ways I have never been able to imagine.
Monday afternoon was a regular Monday. I remember thinking to myself that I would rather be anywhere else than at work. "Boston Marathon Bomb Explosions" splashed across headlines: it was that moment that my though process changed about my day. Chaos had erupted and video footage of the hell that was happening reached me thousands of miles away. No longer did my mediocre day matter. No longer, had I wished to be anywhere else.
I thought to myself for the next couple of hours: how could something like this happen? Who would do something like this? Why would someone desire to inflict such pain and chaos in the lives of others? Questions like that when you are young, are hard to clarify to yourself in your own mind. Meaning, even when the answer is present, its still hard to grasp.
As I ask myself those questions now at the age of 25, I better understand my emotions and the reasoning behind them. Things like 9/11, the bombing in Boston, shootings in public settings happen because this is the reality of the world that we live in.
Life is crazy. Tragedy is a double edged sword. In the times where all is lost, we truly are found. We shed tears of sadness and tears of grief for the devastation that affects the world around us; and even though we may not directly feel the impact of a tragedy, we are impacted as a society. We are impacted as unit.
Sadness is felt for those left crying and cursing the world for the taking the life of someone that they loved. Anger is felt towards the person or persons responsible for the devastation that has shaken our communities... and confusion is felt regarding the heartless acts displayed against people whose lives were cut short.
But in the time of sadness, anger, and confusion a light is shed on the world... to those who choose to grasp it. A light is shed to make you appreciate the life you have; to be grateful that you aren't the one living in that moment of hell.
Tears sting my eyes at the thought of experiencing a moment such as that: losing someone that I love. having my life cut short before it has truly even begun. waking up and living life without TJ, who is my best friend and the person I desire to share my life with.
I can't imagine something happening to the ones I love most. I can't imagine Jaxon, Jayden, or Kason being taken away from this earth. I don't want to know what it is like to experience total devastation, watching my world and community as it is, crumble around me in an instant. I pray each and every day that I may never have to experience anything like that. But even though I pray, one thing is certain; nothing is guaranteed.
My heart aches for those in mourning. My thoughts and prayers are with those that are angry and demand answers to their questions of "who, what, where, and why". And my compassion for what they must feel, is endless; its hard to even imagine.
My gratitude is endless for everything I have been blessed with; Because even when I think my day is horrible, I need to remember that I am alive and surrounded by people that love me.
Be grateful for what you have, life is short, and sometimes we forget just how short it really is. <3
It's sad to admit that sometimes it take horrific events to put ourselves in check and realize that maybe things aren't so bad; to appreciate what we have... what God has blessed out lives with.
It seems the older that I get, the more events such as the bombing, affect me. I remember when 9/11 hit, I was at a loss for words. But the older I got, the more I understood... and the more I began to feel. I started paying attention to the headlines in the news. I started to imagine what the family members felt about those who lost their lives that tragic day. I think at the young age of 13, it didn't effect me to an extent beyond remorse and sorrow, because I hadn't started thinking about my future yet. Now that I am older, I am affected by tragedies in ways I have never been able to imagine.
Monday afternoon was a regular Monday. I remember thinking to myself that I would rather be anywhere else than at work. "Boston Marathon Bomb Explosions" splashed across headlines: it was that moment that my though process changed about my day. Chaos had erupted and video footage of the hell that was happening reached me thousands of miles away. No longer did my mediocre day matter. No longer, had I wished to be anywhere else.
I thought to myself for the next couple of hours: how could something like this happen? Who would do something like this? Why would someone desire to inflict such pain and chaos in the lives of others? Questions like that when you are young, are hard to clarify to yourself in your own mind. Meaning, even when the answer is present, its still hard to grasp.
As I ask myself those questions now at the age of 25, I better understand my emotions and the reasoning behind them. Things like 9/11, the bombing in Boston, shootings in public settings happen because this is the reality of the world that we live in.
Life is crazy. Tragedy is a double edged sword. In the times where all is lost, we truly are found. We shed tears of sadness and tears of grief for the devastation that affects the world around us; and even though we may not directly feel the impact of a tragedy, we are impacted as a society. We are impacted as unit.
Sadness is felt for those left crying and cursing the world for the taking the life of someone that they loved. Anger is felt towards the person or persons responsible for the devastation that has shaken our communities... and confusion is felt regarding the heartless acts displayed against people whose lives were cut short.
But in the time of sadness, anger, and confusion a light is shed on the world... to those who choose to grasp it. A light is shed to make you appreciate the life you have; to be grateful that you aren't the one living in that moment of hell.
Tears sting my eyes at the thought of experiencing a moment such as that: losing someone that I love. having my life cut short before it has truly even begun. waking up and living life without TJ, who is my best friend and the person I desire to share my life with.
I can't imagine something happening to the ones I love most. I can't imagine Jaxon, Jayden, or Kason being taken away from this earth. I don't want to know what it is like to experience total devastation, watching my world and community as it is, crumble around me in an instant. I pray each and every day that I may never have to experience anything like that. But even though I pray, one thing is certain; nothing is guaranteed.
My heart aches for those in mourning. My thoughts and prayers are with those that are angry and demand answers to their questions of "who, what, where, and why". And my compassion for what they must feel, is endless; its hard to even imagine.
My gratitude is endless for everything I have been blessed with; Because even when I think my day is horrible, I need to remember that I am alive and surrounded by people that love me.
Be grateful for what you have, life is short, and sometimes we forget just how short it really is. <3
Monday, December 17, 2012
Memories Made......
This past weekend I was blessed enough to spend quality one on one time with TJ. With his work being in Alaska, his home in a different state, and his "days off" being limited, it leaves little time to see him in between. I truly value every second that I get to spend with him.
TJ has quickly grown to be one of my best friends.I feel blessed to have one thing that I have always wanted... a relationship with my best friend. I think it is important to be with someone whom you love and respect on a friendship level. It took us a while to get here, and I honestly can't say that I thought it ever would... But I am so glad that it did.
Over the weekend he left a lot of the decision making to me. I told him that I wanted to go downtown to see the lights at Temple Square. Actually, I specifically said " I want to go see the lights at Temple Square, drink hot cocoa, and hold hands". His response was "What is this the Notebook?" I was quick to say that it wasn't because it if was, I would have my house with blue shutters, and that clearly isn't the case right now.
Temple Square was great; the entire night was perfect. We started with dinner at Olive Garden, fought to find parking at Gateway, made a pit stop to Old Navy to buy two pairs of gloves for me, Almost saw a lady get hit by a car, people watched, gawked at the beautiful lights, strolled through City Creek, and had many laughs throughout the evening. In some way, not from a movie... it was the perfect night. I got to spend it with the one person whom I miss most.
It feels great to be in a healthy relationship. He makes me happy. He makes me laugh until my cheeks hurt. He is equally as goofy as I am, and I like knowing that I have a connection with him that he doesn't share with many others. He always makes me feel beautiful, and confident (not only in my appearance, but also in who I strive to become as a woman). He honestly makes me want to be a better person, and I love the sense of security I get just knowing that what we have is special.
Being with someone you don't see often is a challenge. There are days where I miss him so much that it hurts. But even when he is 2400 miles away, I feel good about my choice to take a chance on us. I feel proud to be his girlfriend. I am proud of him, and the man that he is. I am proud to show him off and to tell people about how happy he makes me.
I cherish the moments I spend with him, because they don't come very often. I value what we have, and I am grateful to have him in my life.
Cheers to the memories made with those that hold value in our lives.
TJ has quickly grown to be one of my best friends.I feel blessed to have one thing that I have always wanted... a relationship with my best friend. I think it is important to be with someone whom you love and respect on a friendship level. It took us a while to get here, and I honestly can't say that I thought it ever would... But I am so glad that it did.
Over the weekend he left a lot of the decision making to me. I told him that I wanted to go downtown to see the lights at Temple Square. Actually, I specifically said " I want to go see the lights at Temple Square, drink hot cocoa, and hold hands". His response was "What is this the Notebook?" I was quick to say that it wasn't because it if was, I would have my house with blue shutters, and that clearly isn't the case right now.
Temple Square was great; the entire night was perfect. We started with dinner at Olive Garden, fought to find parking at Gateway, made a pit stop to Old Navy to buy two pairs of gloves for me, Almost saw a lady get hit by a car, people watched, gawked at the beautiful lights, strolled through City Creek, and had many laughs throughout the evening. In some way, not from a movie... it was the perfect night. I got to spend it with the one person whom I miss most.
It feels great to be in a healthy relationship. He makes me happy. He makes me laugh until my cheeks hurt. He is equally as goofy as I am, and I like knowing that I have a connection with him that he doesn't share with many others. He always makes me feel beautiful, and confident (not only in my appearance, but also in who I strive to become as a woman). He honestly makes me want to be a better person, and I love the sense of security I get just knowing that what we have is special.
Being with someone you don't see often is a challenge. There are days where I miss him so much that it hurts. But even when he is 2400 miles away, I feel good about my choice to take a chance on us. I feel proud to be his girlfriend. I am proud of him, and the man that he is. I am proud to show him off and to tell people about how happy he makes me.
I cherish the moments I spend with him, because they don't come very often. I value what we have, and I am grateful to have him in my life.
Cheers to the memories made with those that hold value in our lives.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
The Magnetic Glow
I miss you today, like every other that you aren't around. Which in our case, is far more often than not. Having you in my life has brightened my world. Valuing your friendship, is something I find myself doing everyday. You are mine now. I like the way that rolls off of my tongue. I'm glad I don't have to share you, and I'm glad you trust me enough to let me into your life.
The past year and a half has been such a roller coaster ride. Dating, finding myself, balancing work and family life... Piecing myself back together..... At times, this year and a half has seemed like an eternity. Looking back now however, its been a breeze. Having you in my life has somehow grounded me. You have been that constant in my life that I have found myself looking to for answers... assurance... in a sense, that everything will be OK.
You have this magnetic pull on me. You always have; I have told you this. I have never understood it. Even in the spurs where we haven't spoken for extended periods of time, I found myself thinking about you. I remember that day seven season changes ago when you appeared out of no where. I had no idea that this time later, we would be where we are today.
What I do know, is that I am forever grateful for you. I am forever grateful to know that you haven't gone anywhere and that we are both much stronger individuals than we were those seven seasons ago. We have grown so much on our own, while supporting one another. That to me, is something I will cherish always.
Life is crazy. God works in ways that we can't explain. He places others in our lives for a reason, season, or a life time. With you however, He has placed you in my life for a reason, multiple seasons... and if I'm lucky... a lifetime.
I don't expect anyone to understand why I have decided to be in a relationship with someone that I hardly ever see, nor do I care to share the details. They can't see how you make me feel. You make me smile, even being thousands of miles apart. I'm happy to know that I am yours. You make me feel beautiful and confident. My admiration for you radiates from within.... Having you in my life, fills me with comfort.... Having you in my life, makes my heart glow.
That's more than enough for me.
The past year and a half has been such a roller coaster ride. Dating, finding myself, balancing work and family life... Piecing myself back together..... At times, this year and a half has seemed like an eternity. Looking back now however, its been a breeze. Having you in my life has somehow grounded me. You have been that constant in my life that I have found myself looking to for answers... assurance... in a sense, that everything will be OK.
You have this magnetic pull on me. You always have; I have told you this. I have never understood it. Even in the spurs where we haven't spoken for extended periods of time, I found myself thinking about you. I remember that day seven season changes ago when you appeared out of no where. I had no idea that this time later, we would be where we are today.
What I do know, is that I am forever grateful for you. I am forever grateful to know that you haven't gone anywhere and that we are both much stronger individuals than we were those seven seasons ago. We have grown so much on our own, while supporting one another. That to me, is something I will cherish always.
Life is crazy. God works in ways that we can't explain. He places others in our lives for a reason, season, or a life time. With you however, He has placed you in my life for a reason, multiple seasons... and if I'm lucky... a lifetime.
I don't expect anyone to understand why I have decided to be in a relationship with someone that I hardly ever see, nor do I care to share the details. They can't see how you make me feel. You make me smile, even being thousands of miles apart. I'm happy to know that I am yours. You make me feel beautiful and confident. My admiration for you radiates from within.... Having you in my life, fills me with comfort.... Having you in my life, makes my heart glow.
That's more than enough for me.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Mine
You make me happy. Being with you, as strange as our relationship may be, feels right. You are the person that makes me feel complete. You are the one who has my heart; you have since I began piecing myself together a year and a half ago.
I know things between us, our situation, are complicated. But with you, is where I want to be. You make me feel comfortable with myself, you make me feel secure in who I am. You make me feel beautiful and sexy. You make me feel like I think a woman should. I value what we have. I value that we are building a relationship on the foundation of a friendship.
I love who you are and I am proud to be a part of your life.
To the person who I always miss, I miss you still, but smile because I can call you mine.
I know things between us, our situation, are complicated. But with you, is where I want to be. You make me feel comfortable with myself, you make me feel secure in who I am. You make me feel beautiful and sexy. You make me feel like I think a woman should. I value what we have. I value that we are building a relationship on the foundation of a friendship.
I love who you are and I am proud to be a part of your life.
To the person who I always miss, I miss you still, but smile because I can call you mine.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The three P's :)
Twisting, turning, winding, bending.... Those are the words I would use to describe the direction that my life is going at the moment. Lately I have been learning that even though its hard to take accountability for the things you feel disrupt your life, its shouldn't break the person you wish to be. Life is about experience; its about accomplishments, failures, hardships, and loss. Life is about learning to be someone you feel is a better version of yourself from who you were a day before. Those who judge you based on your past shouldn't be in your present and future. Today is a different day. Sometimes all it takes is waking up and realizing that you don't want to be that person anymore. Tho its hard to change, and it doesn't happen over night; Little steps can be taken each day to improve on the person you are.
There is no perfection in life. There is no "end" to the story. The only thing constant in life is change. Changing for the better is what we always hope for.
I have made mistakes recently. I have said things and done things that I am not proud of; but what I remind myself of is this..... Yesterday was in the past, today is the beginning of my future. My future is bright simply because I choose to make it that way.
My life is messy. I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I will continue to make mistakes, but I will not allow myself to be brought down because of the fears I have of what others' think of me. The only person who can really judge me, is myself. I am my own worst critic and I am the only one who determines my happiness. Its time to make that happiness a constant in my life. Its time to close the last chapter in my book of life, and start writing a new one; the time is now.
Prayer, positivity, and passion.... Those are the three things I will strive to make constant in my life as of now. Prayer for support, positivity for balance, and passion for change and all of the things good in my life.
"Life ain't always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride."
................... Happy fall y'all ;)
There is no perfection in life. There is no "end" to the story. The only thing constant in life is change. Changing for the better is what we always hope for.
I have made mistakes recently. I have said things and done things that I am not proud of; but what I remind myself of is this..... Yesterday was in the past, today is the beginning of my future. My future is bright simply because I choose to make it that way.
My life is messy. I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I will continue to make mistakes, but I will not allow myself to be brought down because of the fears I have of what others' think of me. The only person who can really judge me, is myself. I am my own worst critic and I am the only one who determines my happiness. Its time to make that happiness a constant in my life. Its time to close the last chapter in my book of life, and start writing a new one; the time is now.
Prayer, positivity, and passion.... Those are the three things I will strive to make constant in my life as of now. Prayer for support, positivity for balance, and passion for change and all of the things good in my life.
"Life ain't always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride."
................... Happy fall y'all ;)
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