My life in the now....

My life as of lately......My life lately consists of: chaos, school, work, gym (very little), family, crafting, friends, sunsets, sunrises, rainstorms, smiles, love, novels, swimming, birthdays, and good conversations.

Jaxon turned three on June 4, 2012.... He is the one to first shed some light on to this world that I often refer to as my beautiful mess. He changed my life forever. My view on love and what it was non existent until the day that he was born. Since then, I have grown to love him more and more each day. He is 1/3 of the most important piece of my life.

Jayden and Kayson celebrated their first birthday on July 21,2012. They are the missing 2/3 of the most important piece of my life. It amazes me how much one baby entering this world can change your life, add one extra and it really is just "that much harder".

Living at home, with all of my "room mates" really is difficult sometimes. We don't always see eye to eye. We fight and get annoyed with one another. But, rather than look at it as a burden, I try to see it as a blessing. I get to be a part of my niece and nephews live's in a way that I wouldn't have gotten to if I never left Cacey, or decided to move out on my own right after that. Every day, their laughter and kisses softens my heart in a way that I can only compare to what it would be like if they were my own kids. They complete me.

Rather than spending time trying to figure out what direction my life should be going, I have been spending more time letting it flow on its own. I spend less time worrying about things and more time enjoying them. I spend more weekends with no make up. I spend less time worrying about the calories I am taking in, and spend more time savoring the flavors I love most. I spend less time worrying about getting a sun tan, and more time watching the sun set or listening to thunderstorms. I read more, and sometimes make an ass out of myself and I laugh out loud during cardio sessions while reading books by Chelsea Handler. I care more about my self... And even less about what other's think of me. I struggle in school and complain about how difficult it is... But I am so happy that I am going to classes. I get lonely, but I realize that its better to be lonely sometimes, than feel as lonely as I did in a relationship two years ago. I love myself and I enjoy my life. I love good conversations and enjoy cool summer nights..... And though my life isn't exactly where I thought it would be a few years ago... Its a better life than I thought it could be.

Savor the moments, cherish the little things that make you smile. You never know what tomorrow brings...