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Change: Something that I am usually fond of. But not if it is a life altering change. Easter Sunday my boyfriend and I decided to go our separate ways. It makes me sad because we care about one another deeply, and want the best for us. But, we need to focus on ourselves for a while.

People try and tell me that I will get over it, or maybe that it wasn't meant to be.. But I don't think you can feel what I am going through until you have been in my situation. If you haven't dated someone older, who has kids and built a life with that person than you wouldn't know how this feels. It's been hard to walk away from the life we had made together.. It's hard to walk away from the flowers that I planted to make our home more inviting and beautiful, and the projects that were part of the dream of the home I smiled about frequently because they were part of who I am and part of what I had always envisioned. That house was the one place I felt at home. I fell in love with his kids, and OUR dog Tank :). And he is the man that I love on a level I have never loved another person.

How do you walk away from that and be ok with leaving it all behind? I don't understand it.... I have been on quite the roller coaster trying to place myself in where I am in life right now. It's been hard moving back home and adjusting to things. It doesn't feel normal. But it's comforting to have my family around. It's comforting to be around my easy going and quiet dad, because right now I don't want to talk. He is the one person that doesn't offer an opinion on what I need to do.

I love Cacey, and tho we are taking time to figure ourselves out apart from one another, I value what we have. I value who he is and the relationship that we have built. We aren't angry at each other, just sad that it has to be this way, and that we both hurt.

Who knows, maybe we aren't right for each other... But that is something that only he and I can decide. I know that if what we developed wasn't real, it wouldn't have hurt like it did to decide to take this step. Regardless of what happens in the future, I will always hold a place in my heart filled with only good thoughts about him.

And at the end of the road if we don't end up together, I know I have friendship that will last a lifetime.