I know it's not the best picture, but I wanted to post a picture of my recent craft project.

I have wanted old barn windows for a long time now and while shopping on KSL classifieds I found a guy who had A TON of them for sale. And the best part was, he lived 3 minutes away from me :)

I picked up two of them and I am in love with them. I have some things envisioned for them. The one that is hanging in my room will have some things added to it. I wish I could take a better picture to show the detail of it. All I did to it was vacuum it up a little, put some matte finish on it and eventually modge podge the front. I had to used modge podge because the paint on the window is peeling off. That is the look I was going for, so I decided to leave it as natural as I could rather than repaint it to look old.

Then with the help of my dad I got it hung :) I know it's big, but it makes me smile! My mom thought I was crazy when I told her I was going to hang a barn window above my bed, but now she thinks it looks good.

I made the pillow on my bed too. It doesn't really go with my decor... But then again, I just moved home a week and a half ago so hopefully I can create my pictured "escape" :)



That's all for now, but I will keep posting pics of projects as they come!

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Change: Something that I am usually fond of. But not if it is a life altering change. Easter Sunday my boyfriend and I decided to go our separate ways. It makes me sad because we care about one another deeply, and want the best for us. But, we need to focus on ourselves for a while.

People try and tell me that I will get over it, or maybe that it wasn't meant to be.. But I don't think you can feel what I am going through until you have been in my situation. If you haven't dated someone older, who has kids and built a life with that person than you wouldn't know how this feels. It's been hard to walk away from the life we had made together.. It's hard to walk away from the flowers that I planted to make our home more inviting and beautiful, and the projects that were part of the dream of the home I smiled about frequently because they were part of who I am and part of what I had always envisioned. That house was the one place I felt at home. I fell in love with his kids, and OUR dog Tank :). And he is the man that I love on a level I have never loved another person.

How do you walk away from that and be ok with leaving it all behind? I don't understand it.... I have been on quite the roller coaster trying to place myself in where I am in life right now. It's been hard moving back home and adjusting to things. It doesn't feel normal. But it's comforting to have my family around. It's comforting to be around my easy going and quiet dad, because right now I don't want to talk. He is the one person that doesn't offer an opinion on what I need to do.

I love Cacey, and tho we are taking time to figure ourselves out apart from one another, I value what we have. I value who he is and the relationship that we have built. We aren't angry at each other, just sad that it has to be this way, and that we both hurt.

Who knows, maybe we aren't right for each other... But that is something that only he and I can decide. I know that if what we developed wasn't real, it wouldn't have hurt like it did to decide to take this step. Regardless of what happens in the future, I will always hold a place in my heart filled with only good thoughts about him.

And at the end of the road if we don't end up together, I know I have friendship that will last a lifetime.