New in my world? Well lots actually! Life has been crazy busy for the past little while but I am loving it! Things are still going well with Cacey and me. So well that we have decided that I am going to move in there... Which really is not any different than it is right now, seeing that I have basically lived there since October... But we both feel it's a good idea. Mainly because marriage is such a big step. And I want to make sure that things will work out in the long run before I take that step. Things are allot different when you date someone with kids.... Dating Cacey is a completely new experience. I have never dating anyone like him. And I love him and I love his girls.. but if things were to go sour between us, I wouldn't be walking away from just him. I would walk away from his girls too! And I have faith in our relationship, but then again the only thing that is predictable in life is death itself! So we shall see ! I am really excited about it and so are the girls! Me and Cacey talked to the girls about it to make sure they would be ok with it....Rylee told me that the house is definitely going to be allot prettier now lol.. and Ariah just said.. So you are going to live here? Like full time??? LOL so I guess it's great to have both of their approvals! :)

Other than that we are just working on the house... I have been meaning to post pictures and I wish I would have taken before pictures but I didn't.. I know.. Shocking! But I will have to update with the progress thus far! We got the front yard looking really good! We ripped some trees down that were next to the front door! You would have never known there was a house behind them! lol. They were big ugly pine trees of some sort.. and then we have raked the yard and I have been planting flowers and what not! I love it! It's rewarding to see the hard work that you put into things!

In the back yard there are like a million leaves to rake up.. We have already raked up like 11 of the 55 gallon drum bags FULL of them! it is rediculous! And we still have half a yard left! cacey bought the house 2 years ago and the people there before him never did yard work! So the yard is in pretty bad shape! And last year he really only tackled the "needed" areas that were used allot! Which is completely understandable! It's been a looooong couple of weeks out side, but I am loving it!

Inside, the basement kitchen is almost finished! They are ready to sheet rock so that will be nice once that is done! Everything else is about lined up after that! But things have been going wrong or setting the time back so it's been a struggle there too! Some times it feels like nothing is getting done! But I know it has! And everything will happen and come together in time!

Me and Cacey at the Hockey Game


Ariah and KoKo at Chuck-E-Cheese


Jaxon and Tank playin.. Jaxon loves him! And Tank is really good with him.. Even though he is clumsy sometimes!



So that pretty much catches everyone up to speed! Life is good, love is great, and I am happy! :) I hope all is well with everyone and you have a beautiful day!

bottled up tears

Today I want to cry.. and I want this feeling to go away... The feeling where your heart feels like it's skipping offbeat and your stomach is trying to escape through your upper abdomen.... I want it to go away and the only way I know how to do that is to cry.. But what do you do when you feel like you can't cry to the one who you need at the moment?

I cry alone... I don't let people see me cry if I can help it... Well about the things that truly upset me and affect me....

I feel alone.... I really wish Chelsea were here because I know that seeing her and talking with her would make me feel a little better. Sometimes I really do feel like she is the only person that gets me entirely... The only person that understands what I am saying without being offended. And sometimes I feel like she is the only one I can express myself to completely. Sometimes I feel like she knows how I am feeling better than I do.

I feel disappointed in the face that I am upset and the reasononing behind it is misunderstood.... and I feel alone... 2 feelings that don't mix well together.....

Tomorrow will be a better day... Lets hope.

Oh how the Spring fever has filled my veins! aahhhh :) I love it!

Yes people I am ectatic that it is warming up! Spring and Summer make me glow! I love the feeling of the sun on my face! And I love being able to wear shorts and a tank top outside!

So in honor of the weather warming up, I am going to list 10 things that I love about Spring time!

1.Sundresses!


2. Rain


3. Seeing life emerge from the gardens


4. Yard work


5. Birds chirping in the trees before the sun comes up.


6. Flip flops and high heels




7. Spring colors


8. flowers in full bloom


9. Going for walks


10. picnics

A Dane Cookie Moment.

Usually I don't get bothered by what people say to me on the phone while at work... Most of the time I find it quite amusing when they lash out at me or get upset over things I have no control over... But today for some reason this woman just rubbed me the wrong way.... It reminded me allot of skit where Dane Cook talks about ordering a club sandwich from a restaurant and getting cut off by the waitress in mid sentence.

So I have taken the time to post the link below. Watch if you like, but I do warn you the footage is not great and it does have fowl language...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndwHeU75zhQ

So here is my "Dane Cook" moment.....

" Good Afternoon Forestry Fire and State Lands, this is Nicole how can I help you?"..... " Yes this is ____ From _________ and I am trying to send you guys a check but I need to make sure I have the correct address..... There is a long pause. So I immediately begin to say "Ok it's ______ West _____ _____ Suite ____ " and get RUDELY INTERRUPTED by her saying "Why don't you just tell me if I DON'T have the right address!!!!" And then she proceeded to repeat the exact same address that I just said to her ...

Like Dane was... I was completely taken back... I was actually quite pissed. I didn't know what to say... I felt like my thought process had been ripped out of my head. I wanted to yell at her. And say "Excuse me BEAST... if you would have quit being such a hag and opened your ears and wouldn't have RUDELY INTERRUPTED ME.....You would have noticed that I stated the EXACT same address as you... BEFORRRRE you even opened your mouth!!!! Open your ears and not your mouth!"



But during these hard times and economic struggle.. I refrained and decided that having my job was more important that getting my ego back.....

Maybe it was just the way she said it.. It was so rude and it made me not like her. LOL .. Now if I ever meet her I am going to judge her base on our first encounter which I hate doing. But ya know, I believe in first impressions and I strongly believe in treating people (especially in a work environment) with total respect. Because that is how I want to be treated... She totally threw that out the door. maybe she had a bad day.. Or maybe she just has bad communications skills... Either way I hope she doesn't talk like that to everyone she is in contact with!


Thanks for letting me vent... Hope you all enjoy your day! :)

My mamma!

I can't believe how quickly time has flown by... I am almost 22 and my mom will be 48 in 2 days! Can you believe it?! Any ways... in your honor, once again I will be making a list of things that I love about you.... There are 22 because your baby will be 22 this year :)


1. That I get my emotional nature from you.

2. Watching the Hills together :)

3. Latching onto your leg as you'd get ready in the morning.

4. When you would wake up extremely early in the morning to go to work so you could make sure you picked me up from daycare around 2-3... I don't remember what times they were... But I remember sitting next to the fence with the watch on my wrist and knowing what time you should be there by because you showed me. And I know you worried on the days you were late because you knew I was panicking.

5. When Amber and I would get in really bad fights that you couldn't handle and you would leave for a while... But you would always come back with a treat for us.

6. When I broke up with Zack and had a nervous break down in your arms. I felt closer to you after that day.

7. Going to movies with you Jill and all the kids. I always loved those nights.

8. When you ask what we want for dinner when it's only 7:00 in the morning :)

9. How big of an animal lover you are.

10. Watching Lifetime together on Sunday mornings.

11. How much you love dad.

12. That I have green eyes like you.

13. That you were always there for us no matter how mean we were to you.

14. How much you love Jaxon.. It almost spills out of you when he is around.

15. Your laugh when you think something is really funny.

16. Your German Chocolate cake.

17. How good you are to Cacey and his girls. And how fast you got over the age difference because you could see I was truly happy.... It feels nice to have a boyfriend that you guys actually like. And it makes me excited to have them as a part of our family.

18. You let me be myself and love me unconditionally.

19. You always put others first.

20. That you treat the dogs like humans.

21. That the Dr. told you not to have another baby after Amber because there was a good chance something would go wrong but you had me anyways.

22. How important our family is to you.


Mom you truly are the greatest mom there is. And if I were to name off all the reasons why I say that, my list would be endless. You have been one of my biggest support systems in life.. And even in the times that I was angry at the world.. You were there for me. I feel so blessed to have such a positive role model to look up to. You has so many wonderful traits that I hope to take on when I have kids. Because if I could even be half the mom you are, I know my kids will turn out to be great. Anyone that knows you will tell you that you have one of the biggest hearts. I have seen prime examples of that all throughout my life.... Even when our family was struggling, you were always trying to figure out what could be done to help others. The fact that you are always putting others before dad and yourself is just one of the many things I love about you. You are one of the most unselfish people I know. You are constantly making sure Amber and I are happy and ok in life... You are the glue that holds our family together. And I know it doesn't always show but I am so glad you are my mom.. It feels good to have a mother that cares about our families well being as much as you do.

Thank you for always being here for me. Thank you for guiding me though life but allowing me to make my own choices. I know that I have strayed onto my own path and done things that you don't agree with... But I know I am a good person. And I know that best qualities in me are those I have gained from you and dad. I am happy with who I am. And I happy happy knowing that I have the best parents anyone could ask for.

I love you mamma! Happy Birthday!

Love always,
Colie-

Therapy for the soul

If you know me well you will know that I take more pictures than probably anyone else you know... And I often get made fun of for this.. Because I will admit it... I take ALLOT! But to me, it is therapy for the soul. I take a picture not to put away in a scrap book. But because I want to remember how I felt in that moment... I try to capture the perfection in what I see.... I take multiple pictures of the same thing because you can see beauty in things from angles that you wouldn't notice just by looking at it straight on. I notice details in things that others wouldn't even think twice to look at. And if something "speaks to me" I freeze that moment in time.....

I take pictures of things that I want to remember. Things that most people say "they have seen it, but don't have the proof. Just the photograph in their memory" Or the things that others didn't think to notice ... I capture those moments because I want to be able to tell people my stories and give them examples of how great that moment or the person in it affected my life...Because in all honesty, there is a story behind every photo. There is an emotion that goes with it... Whether it be the laughter that I share with a loved one, a random object or person that I see on the side of the road, or a beautiful landscape or thunderstorm... My pictures are a part of me. They are made up of my emotions, and the moments in my life that make me who I am.

Now maybe I sound crazy.. or like my head is in the clouds. And in all honesty... yeah it is... I am a dreamer. I live in my own world and I think on levels that are much deeper than most people... But it makes me feel good to feel so much emotion. It makes me feel good to have such small details in this world impact my life in such a big way whether it be good or bad. Because my emotions and the way I see things and how they make me feel is what makes me, me.

Now I have a challenge... And no I don't want you to go out and start snapping pictures left and right of everything you see (unless of course you want to :) ). But I do challenge you to be more observant of the world seen through your eyes. Pay attention to the gardens and the colors that are peaking out of it.. Pay attention to the sky and the golds and oranges that are brushed through it as the sun sets... Or study the profile of someone that you are in contact with on a daily basis and see if you can pick something out about them that you never noticed before. Notice how those things affect you, and what they make you feel... We can pass something 100times until one day we notice the tiniest detail that changes our outlook of something from then on.. Or at least change our mindset for the day....There is so much beauty in the world and in the people around us...But we hardly stop to notice.... But I think it's time to "stop and smell the roses"

I believe that by making it a point to pick out the good in things, it makes us better people and eventually it will become a habit... Would that really be such a bad thing?

I put purple eye shadow on today and it made me happy... So now I have decided that I am going to do a post that is a little different... I have decided to make a list of 10 things that make me smile on a daily basis!


The reasons I smile everyday

1. The smell of coffee


2. Flowers... and the thought of planting them!


3. Laughing


4. Kisses from Cacey


5. Seeing my nephew's picture everyday at work... Or holding him <3


6. chocolate


7. Listening to 97.1 ZHT in the morning.. Their morning show always makes my day start out great!


8. Hannah's Blog


9. Working for somewhere to help save, preserve and replenish forests and land throughout the state.


10. Read my daily horoscopes for my Chinese and zodiac sign.




So now I challenge you to remind yourself of 10 things that make you smile.... And also to do something just a little different than you do on every other day... Whether it be to wear purple eye shadow, change your hair style up, where a funky shirt, buy something small just because it make you smile, or swing on the swing set at the park.. It doesn't matter what it is.. Just do something to make your heart smile. I promise life will seem much sweeter once you do!

I would love to hear your lists.. But if you prefer not to share, I understand.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the feeling of the sun on your face!

Love,
Nicki